By Cynthia K. Johnson  

 Like the old Heinz Ketchup commercial, so have been the last few weeks as well as the next few weeks as we anxiously awaiting the arrival of some warm weather. I don’t know about you, but I have been doing some clearing and clearing, and even replacing including my schedule. Not sure what I am making room for, but I know I need the space.

  So what’s on your plate?  Is it full of something that you don’t really want?  Perhaps you thought you wanted it and now that your plate is full you find yourself pushing it around trying to make room for what you really want.  Or is it the opposite–your plate is empty and you are not sure what you want kind of like the feeling when you are scanning the cupboards and refrigerator for just the right thing to eat and nothing looks pleasing.

So many times we arrive at a crossroads or dead end and we haven’t a clue as to how we got there, or how we have come to take on the roles we have assumed in our lives. When change becomes eminent, it can be like an empty hole in our stomach that we can’t fill and the hours of the day become long, tedious and even pointless.  Our own resistance within can prove to be the most challenging. There are those times we don’t allow ourselves to grow; we hold onto ideas we thought and believed were iron clad; labels we placed upon ourselves and others.  Growth always means change. When this occurs in a relationship, we don’t have to view it as a loss, but as letting go of how you have defined the relationship, granting the other person the freedom to move into their own identity, regardless of whether it meets with your approval or not. Sometimes it does signal the end of a union yet it does not always mean the relationship must end sometimes it is only in the way you are viewing it, allowing it (or the person) to change rather than resisting change . 

 Have you ever watched the love of a parent for their child become so constricting and controlling that it reached a point that it began to appear like the opposite of love?   Maybe you have been there yourself. The deepest love often becomes neediness, turning something beautiful into a controlled object of love.  Like a vine climbing on a house, it can choke out and destroy what is underneath.  How much better would it be to provide a support for the vine giving it its own space to grow, yet still separate from the house? 

How different would our lives be if our relationships could be supportive rather than smothering and consuming. Be honest with yourself, recall the times you have not allowed someone to change and just as important, when you have not allowed yourself to change. Then look upon these situations with fresh eyes.

Imagine it is the springtime of your being.  Is your field of dreams plowed and ready for planting?  Have you planted the seeds of your desires and let your imagination rain on them and your belief in them shine on them like the summer sun?  Or is it full of last year’s crop; dried up, full of dreams that did not fully develop, still lying there taking up space.

Picture the surface of the human brain, it resembles a freshly tilled field with all of the crevices and wrinkles ready to hold our thoughts like seeds in soil, and it does.  We must let go of limiting beliefs and instill our original plan we brought into this life.  If you need to plow that field and churn up the soil do it.  It may involve a little sweat, but it will be well worth the effort. 

Just as different soil and regions grow different plants, so do our human lives.   Did you know grass is not native to this country?  The early English settlers brought it in an attempt to bring a part of England to this country, the problem is we do not have wet damp foggy weather in most of the U.S. and it has been a battle ever since. Why do we not see the beauty in what we already have and feel the need to make everything and everyone the same?  Is it really that interesting to share the same beliefs and the same opinions with everyone?  What can we possibly learn from that?  There is beauty and life everywhere, the problems begin when we try to make a cactus survive in a rain forest, or a lush fern thrive in the desert.  It is just too much work.  Do you find you are working too hard and not netting the results you want from that work?

Look out in front of you, what is in your way?  Begin where you are, and start clearing.  Once in a while we must start fresh with nothing, and accept that perhaps what we had planted, or what someone else planted, the conditions could not support.

Spring is here, and there is simply no better time to clear the way and start fresh.  Besides, you never know what might pop up.    

Until next time,

Cynthia