By Cynthia K. Johnson<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As most of you know by now, we recently welcomed a new grandson who made his appearance two weeks early amidst carefully laid out plans by both parents and grandparents. We were preparing for the date of May 4th<\/sup>, however, complications set in and that plan fell null and void. I found myself with not only a full book of clients but a three year old excited about the highly anticipated adventure we had been talking about for months. Funny he was not surprised or disappointed by the change in plans, when you are three, you live as you should, in the moment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n What was supposed to be three or four nights with grandparents, slid into six; all was fine until we traveled to the hospital to visit mom and dad and new brother. No one could have predicted three year old Gunnar would fall head over heels for day old Brokk. Who knows what a three year old expects in a new brother, but whatever it was, the reality of his presence exceeded those expectations, he flipped and it hit him, the long wait was over, time to go home! <\/p>\n\n\n\n Upon explaining that he would have to wait another two days to take baby brother home, his joy turned to disbelief then sadness then buried his face in my son\u2019s shoulder and sobbed; he was inconsolable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The drive from York back to our house was heartbreaking. For over an hour he cried out his mantra, \u201cI want to go to my house!\u201d We pulled over and I got into the back seat to attempt to mend his heart. I tried diverting and making other plans, I assured him he would be home with his family very soon, so on and so on. Nothing helped, and in fact he amped up. Feeling overwhelmed I sat back in my seat turned away and stared out the window through my own tears that had begun to stream down my cheeks. After a few minutes, he became less vocal, his shoulders still heaving as his lungs sucked in some air between sobs. Peace began to return not only to him but to Dave and me. As we drove in silence, he glanced over at me and saw my sadness and I realized in that moment, that\u2019s all he wanted. Be with me Me\u2019me\u2019, I am sad. It\u2019s not okay—-and I should never have tried to make it okay. When we pulled into the driveway he reluctantly came back inside, and it wasn\u2019t long and we were making plans for the next day. <\/p>\n\n\n\n How often do we do that to people we care about? We seem them sad, upset, suffering, and our first response is to make them un-sad, not upset, not suffering. Who are we to decide that they shouldn\u2019t feel pain, or to pretend they don\u2019t? Gunnar\u2019s story was a small example and one that had a very good ending. But what about those whose lives are not okay and will not be okay? When someone dies we are not okay. When someone leaves a relationship, we are not okay, when someone is sick and in pain, it is not okay<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The day after we reunited Gunnar with his new family, the Baltimore riots began. I couldn\u2019t help but relate what Gunnar taught me over the weekend. It\u2019s not okay. Glossing over decades of injustice, oppression, presumptions and ignorance is not okay. Violence arose and the cries from the city were inconsolable. Enough! Look at me; I am here and I am hurting, be with me in my pain, at least acknowledge that it exists. Reach out your hand so I can have the hope there is a way out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The unique personality that is Baltimore City seemed to become the raised voice of the ignored that is tucked and hidden in the pockets of cities across our nation; too many hands are stuck deep in those warm pockets lined with soft bigotry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As long as we choose to separate ourselves from pain, we won\u2019t feel it. Ignoring something doesn\u2019t make it go away, it usually grows like a cancer. Acknowledging that something is wrong forms a bond that becomes the bridge out of it. I don\u2019t think many people expect you to fix their problem or their pain\u2014and in fact it is insulting that you would suggest you can; they just want to be heard and seen. When a secret is shared it becomes real. What we keep hidden deep down is actually the fear that it might be true. A resolution must occur before a solution— and often the solution becomes obvious when it is determined there is indeed a problem. How far are we from that? I don\u2019t know. What I do know is a lot of people are suffering, have been suffering and continue to suffer. As long as those more fortunate whether through their own hard work or simply through privilege ignore those suffering — the underprivileged will continue to draw negative attention to a negative situation. Peace without justice is an impossibility. To be neutral in a situation of injustice is to have chosen sides already. None of us comes into the world fully formed. We would not know how to speak, walk, think or behave as human beings unless we learned it from other human beings. We need other human beings in order to be human. I am because other people are. A person is entitled to a stable community life, and the first of these communities is the family. ~ Desmond Tutu <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" IT\u2019S NOT OKAY By Cynthia K. 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